I was recently turned down for a job by an individual with very bad grammar because I didn’t have enough experience writing for “mommy blogs”. Seriously? I’m a mother, and I have a blog. This is actually my second blog – the first had a long and fruitful run over on Blogger, but I switched to WordPress this year for better features.
Dumbfounded, I quickly googled, “Mommy Blogger” to see what exactly it was about my blog that didn’t make the grade.
Appparently a “Mommy blogger” blogs constantly about kids and kid-related things.
I live that life. 24/7. I’m a stay at home mom to 3 kids age 5 and under. Those little monsters are constantly pulling at me, screeching at me and demanding things like juice, help reading a word and access to a new game or puzzle.
I don’t blog constantly about my kids because I swore I’d never be “that mom” that’s taking photos of blow-outs and pink eye to post on the net and ask strangers for medical advice. I swore I’d never be the mom that over shares and puts embarrassing crap on the internet for my kids to find in 10 years when they’re better at using computers than most Microsoft executives. (Apple executives too – we’re a Mac family. No need to discriminate!)
So for any future prospective employers that don’t think I’m “mom enough” to write for your brand, here’s a little sample of how “normal” people interpret “mommy bloggers”:
OMG! My little baby-boo just pooped themselves.
[insert 13 photos]
All better! Motherhood is so rewarding. I’m so glad I gave up working outside the home to wipe butts and cook endless boxes of Mac and Cheese (though I’ll swear up and down that I make it from scratch using organic cheese and milk bought at Whole Foods and made from a cow that farts Rainbows in Switzerland).
[insert photo of myself with hair and makeup done, wearing pants, holding a baby that is dressed nicely, but obviously isn’t comfortable because they NEVER wear that shit in real life. Seersucker. WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK PUTS THEIR KIDS IN SEERSUCKER!?]
Well, gotta go – my subscription box of organic health food snacks just arrived and you know how child #2 just loves their gluten-free organic almond milk cheese crackers!
I can’t even. The women that write crap like that and publish it to the internet make me want to stab myself in the eye with a cocktail fork.
So for now, I guess I’m content not being mommy enough to be considered a real “mommy blogger”.
And if you’re wondering why I’d apply to a job for a Mommy Blogger, if I’m not “that type” of mom, I didn’t. I applied for a copywriting position for an ecommerce site – the type of work I do on a daily basis. They responded with the drivel about being a mommy blogger.