Southbound: My Inner Nomad Grows Restless

My mom always told me that I had Gypsy blood in me. I guess she was right. It seems like I’m the most unsettled person ever and the need to move becomes this overwhelming, consuming force in my life. I don’t just mean move down the street – I mean pack up and start over somewhere entirely different.

I shouldn’t be surprised. Three out of my 4 grandparents were immigrants. (The legal type, friends!) My 1 American-born grandparent moved almost as much as a military wife, but without the enlisted husband.

The first time the moving bug hit me I was about 15. I had friends at school, but none that were really close. No best friends. I would flit between social groups, never really finding my place. My passion. I never really felt like THERE was where I was meant to be.

So when my dad wanted to move home – home being over 3,000 miles away – I was thrilled. I had planned to go to college on the East Coast anyway. We moved about a year later. I was the new kid just in time for my senior year of high school, which really wasn’t as bad as it sounds. I missed out on some things, like sports, but that’s about it.

After that, I went off to college. That was a big change from living with my parents. I made some great friends and even met my husband. Those 4 years flew by. I graduated and was engaged. We moved into an apartment together about 2 1/2 hours from my parents… but unfortunately we also lived about an hour from our closest friends from school.

A year later we bought a horrible little house. I hated it. My husband liked the land. He won since we either had to buy or sign another year-long lease at a much higher rate. We’ve added onto the house, but we’re still here. We’re not quite upside down, but 8 years later we won’t be making much if we sell it after all of the fees and things are paid off. We made some really financially stupid decisions in this house and outgrew it quickly by adding 3 kids to the family.

So now we are in a 3 bedroom (it started as 2), 2 bath house with 5 people. The house itself isn’t huge. The yard is, which helps in the summer, but in the winter when the snow piles up it’s the most depressing place on earth. I work from home and it’s like the walls just close in on me. I hate snow. I hate, hate, hate it. It’s cold. It gets in the way. It’s hard to drive in. It’s everything bad about nature rolled into 1 little fluffy cloud. It looks pretty as it falls, but when it lingers and blackens you can almost feel the depression coming on.

I’ve been in New England for 14 years. My inner nomad is SCREAMING at me to leave. My parents are moving to Florida to retire soon and even though I have my own family and only see my parents about once a month, I feel like I’m being abandoned. I feel like they’re leaving me in this horrible place to slowly die as my in-laws suck the life out of me.

I don’t know if I’d feel differently about New England if I had better in-laws. If I had a support system here. If I felt like there was anyone in this God forsaken corner of the country that had an ounce of decency. I’m sure there are nice people here, I just think they are much outnumbered by the not so wonderful ones.

So my inner nomad is calling me to move south. Not to follow my parents, but to find my own place in this world. My own place where the weather is better, the people are nicer and my in-laws dare not visit. Somewhere too far for the judgmental sighs of my mother-in-law and the crazy bipolar antics of my sister-in-law.

Fortunately, my husband is on board. He sees how his family is. He is willing to entertain the idea of leaving New England for the first time in his life.

So we’re going on a road trip! We’re hoping for an a-ha moment where we find a town we love and want to move to. Or at least an area. Something, a sign. Anything really.

It’s an exciting adventure, but I’m anxious to see how it goes. I hope we have our moment. If we don’t, I don’t know where we will be. Limbo, I guess. We both hate it here. We both want out. Neither of us know where to go. My husband likes the idea of Texas, but I hate it. (Too hot and too many scary deadly bugs and snakes.) Only time will tell!


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