Verizon FIOS: Why You So Shady?

Dear Verizon FIOS,

WTF? No, seriously – What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Your employees are striking and I’m about ready to stand out there with them. Your customer service is abysmal and I’m not talking about the people working the online chat (though truthfully, WHY DO THEY TYPE SO SLOWLY?). I’m talking about how you, the company, has decided to treat your customers.

Take my most recent bill as an example. I’m enrolled on auto pay and all that happy bullshit, probably because I had to be in order to a $1 discount off my bill. This month I log-in on the day the payment is scheduled to be deducted and see that it has jumped to $84.99 for internet.

Last month it was $39.99.

What gives? Apparently some promotional offer I had ran out. Without warning. And since services are paid for after they are rendered, I can’t disagree with the charge and quit before I rack up a bill that’s more than twice what I’m used to.

I immediately got online and used your chat system. After waiting what felt like an eternity for your associate to type her response to my first question – Can you get my price back to what it was before I jump ship to Comcast? – I was told yes, I can choose this new plan at $34.99/month for months 1-12 and $44.99/month for months 12-13.

So I said sure, sign me up. Meanwhile I’m wondering WHY DID YOU MESS WITH MY SHIT?! Why not just leave it at $40/month instead of dicking me around and then making me pay $35 for 12 months and then $45 for 12 months? It still averages out to $40/month, asshole!

So now I’m paying basically the same amount as before, you’re getting basically the same amount as before and save for the 1 weird month where you’re gouging me for twice my normal payment, we’re right where we were… except I hate you. And I will spread my hate for you far and wide all over the internet… which I’m accessing through your company.

I hope the striking workers win and I hope Verizon has to pay dearly. Assholes.


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