Dear PTO: Just Stop. Please.

When my oldest was in kindergarten, I was gung-ho about joining the PTO. I aspired to be like those moms that were always at the school and always knew what was going on… I was ready to volunteer (even though I had two younger kids) and I was pumped.

Then I got a glimpse into the seedy underbelly of the elementary school PTO. Can you say bitches? It was like a real-life version of Mean Girls. The blessed few that made up the board were making some really bad decisions that impacted the entire school. They were the chosen ones that determined which fundraisers would even be discussed, let alone done. (Spoiler alert, I can make a pie for a whole lot less than $17 and there’s a snowball’s shot in hell that I’m going to buy any more scented candles.) There’s zero variation in fundraisers from year-to-year and quite frankly, they suck. In addition to fundraisers, they would choose the school photographer.

This year, the bitch brigade made a very bad decision. Some wanna-be mom with too much time on her hands suggested switching from the very reasonably-priced photographer the school normally uses to Lifetouch. Fricken Lifetouch.

Why would ANYONE want to switch to a “photographer” with a reputation for horrible pictures and extortionary prices is beyond me. When I voiced my opinion that they had board the train to crazy town by picking that photographer, I was told that I can buy 4 wallets online for only $9! Are you kidding me? $9 for 4 wallets? I used to be able to get a decent package of pictures for $21! And that included an 8×10! The best I can do now is to pay $12 for a digital file and print my own 8×10 assuming they don’t put their crappy logo on it or provide a print release.

And bad decisions like this just keep on happening. I can’t believe I ever wanted to be on the PTO. I’m making it my silent mission to screw up their meetings for the rest of the year. I’ll be the naysayer. The devil’s advocate. The one putting the seed of doubt in the other parents’ ears.

It’s going to be a fun year!


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